GLOSSARY This list of defined terms is meant to be a helpful guide for those not familiar with the webcomics community or the internet. If you know what everything here is, please have some patience and try to refrain from rolling your eyes and sighing loudly too much.

Acronyms- People on the internet love acronyms! For an entertaining list of internet acronyms, go somewhere else. I'm not doing that. Blog- Short for web log. Web-log. Weblog. B’log! Get it? No? Well, you'll get it later. Just think about it for a while. It’s basically a public online diary, but once in a while bloggers are treated as journalists. And that means trouble --because that’s when newspaper journalists start making whiney editorials that nobody wants to read about how normal people shouldn’t be allowed to report on stuff. Blogger- An online blogging website for people who don't know about LiveJournal. Brown-Haired Helen- A feisty, mischievous, and/or trouble-making woman. Usage Example: “Shaenon Garrity is more of a brown-haired Helen than anything.” Cerebus Syndrome- This is when a comic has fewer and fewer images until it actually stops being a comic and becomes an illustrated novel. Nobody should ever use this expression. Usage Example: “When I saw the suicide strip, I was chatting with Weds. ‘Wow,’ I said. ‘There it is. Cerebus Syndrome.’ 'Yup,' she said.” Comic Genesis- See Keenspace. Drama- The best part of the webcomics community. Drunk Duck- See Keenspace. E-zone- the preferred term for “internet.” Usage Example: “Hey, dudes! Let’s surf the e-zone!” Facebook- I honestly have no idea. Fap- The sound effect of masturbation. Popularized (but not invented) in the webcomic, Sexy Losers, by Clay I mean Hard. Usage Example: “FAP FAP FAP!” Fan-fiction- This is like those Star Trek novels you see in the sci-fi section of the book store, only nobody was paid to write it. Also, it probably has Kirk and Spock kissing. Fat Jokes- aren’t funny. I am thin and handsome and even I know that. Fetishism- The internet makes it easy for weirdoes to find each other and to even encourage new people to partake their weird sexual fetishes. There is a group of people with a fetish for anything you can think of on the internet. The only limits are your imagination. REAL Examples: Being eaten alive, involuntary human-to-horse transformations,, trucks covered in mud. Flesh Light- It’s shaped like a flash light, but it’s got a vagina on it. The male equivalent of a dildo. We’ve come a long way, baby! Furries- Huge fans of anatomically-correct versions of the cartoons animals in Tiny Toons Adventures and Disney's Robin Hood . They are the kids in high school who are not cool enough to sit at the same table as the Trekkies. The worst examples of furries dress up in “fursuits.” Usage Example: “Hey, you jerk! Only 0.0999% of furries are like that!!!” Fur Suit- A theme park costume with a hole in the crotch so the wearer can have sex while pretending to be a skunk. Gamer- one who games. Goatse- A favorite past-time on the e-zone is tricking your friends into clicking on links that lead to an infamous photograph of a man manipulating himself. This photograph used to be located at http://goatse.cx until the website was shut down. Most likely the website was shut down by parents. As Will Smith once so aptly put it, “parents just don’t understand.” For a similar effect, ask your friends to do a google image search of "tubgirl" with "safe search" off. Harry Potter Spoilers- Let's just say people on the internet are assholes with horrible senses of humor and leave it at that. Impromanga- A form of comics jam. This is when you draw a few pages of a comic and then your friend draws the next few pages of the comic and you or yet another friend draws the next few pages of the comic and so on until the comic is finished. I guess there isn't really a joke to go with this definition. Sorry. Infinite Canvas- This is when webcartoonists start calling themselves “pioneers” and then design really annoying features into their webcomics like scrolling to the right and animation. It's mainly used to show people falling down deep holes. Infinite canvas can be done well when webcartoonists get over themselves. So, basically never. Read more about infinite canvas in Reinventing Comics by Scott McCloud. Internet- A horrible waste of time that makes you lazy and socially inept. Has much worse side effects than drugs such as alcohol or cannabis, but without the negative political connotations. Internet is perhaps more unhealthy than even television and video games because it actually CONTAINS television and video games. Jump the Shark- When something stops being good. Also known as “pulling a Simpsons.” This term originated from the episode of Happy Days where Fonzie jumped over a shark. Usage Example: “The term ‘jump the shark’ has jumped the shark.” Keenspace- See Comic Genesis. Keenspot- Like Keenspace, only it’s invitation-only and the cartoonists get paid. Usage Example: “I'm not going to make fun of Keenspot. Everybody already makes fun of Keenspot.” Lamer- one who’s lame. LiveJournal- The best forum on the internet! Lolcats- This is when you take a photo of a cat doing something cute and a (sometimes purposefully misspelled) caption on it. People think this is funny. See meme. Lolicon- Short for “Lolita Complex.” I know, I know. It has an "n" instead of an "m," just go with it. In Japan, child porn is perfectly legal as long as it is in comic format instead of photographs. No, I’m not joking. I am not exagerating for the sake of humor. Lolicon is child porn manga. People who defend lolicon are known as “idiots“. Mary Sue- A term, which originated from fan-fiction, meaning when a character is a very transparent idealized stand-in for the author. The Mary Sue character is usually very cool and awesome. Everyone else respects and looks up to the Mary Sue character because he/she is so awesome. The Mary Sue character is nearly invincible and never loses. Usage Example: Bun-bun from Sluggy Freelance is Mary Sue. Meme- Have you ever seen that movie, The Aristocrats? A meme is sorta like that. Micropayments- All you need to know about micropayments is that they don’t work. Read Scott McCloud’s Reinventing Comics if you’re still interested. MILF- a Mom I’d Like to Fuck. Most mothers of webcomic characters are MILFs because the webcartoonist population is mostly lonely males. Usage Example: "DAAAAAAAMN! Teri Crosby is a total MILF!" MySpace- This is a webpage nobody over the age of 17 seriously uses. Online Gaming- where you're "1337" because you "frag" all of the "n00bs" while playing "Starcraft" on the M$ Exploder or the Netscrape Navigaytor. Otaku- I once knew this guy in his 40s who lived with his grandmother. He collected Sailor Moon fansubs and Dragonball Z merch, rarely bathed, and was at least 300 lbs. I told him he was a true otaku. He smiled this knowing smile and said to me, "Arigato gozaimasu, David-kun." PayPal- An online payment company that everyone uses and everyone hates. Usage Example: Boy, I sure do hate PayPal. Pr0n- This is how you spell “porn” on the internet. Real Doll- You don’t want to know. Something Awful- A popular online forum. The main appeal of this forum is that you have to pay $10 to join and it's really easy to get banned. The only downside is that many of the forumites are racist misogyinsts who like to make fun of people with Down Syndrome. And they really like memes and catchphrases. OK, there are good things about this forum, I just can't remember them right now. Spotted- To have been accepted into Keenspot. Usage Example: Holy crap I’ve been spotted! This is the greatest day of my life! I’ve gotta call my mom! Teh- People on the internet often misspell “the” as a joke. Hilarious, huh? Transgender Comics- Transgender comics (also known as TG comics) usually involve a boy being turned into a sexy girl completely against his will as an "ironic" punishment. It’s only done because the author thinks that boys turning into sexy girls is hot. A better punishment would be to turn a boy into an ugly girl, but that makes it harder to masturbate to the comic. See ugly girls, fetishism. Examples: The Wotch (http://melonpool.com), El Goonish Shive (http://sluggy.com), Misfile (http://megatokyo.com) Troll- This is slang for a really cool person who everyone looks up to and thinks is hilarious. Usage Example: “Don’t feed the troll, guys.” Ugly Girls- These do not exist in webcomics. Wang- It’s an incredibly crude slang term for the male sexual organ. Not appropriate at ALL. Often associated with the webcomic, Penny Arcade for reasons unknown. Wanged- Sometimes when a website is linked to from Penny Arcade, the servers cannot handle the traffic and the servers shut down. That’s how popular Penny Arcade is. When this happens, a website is considered wanged. Usage Example: “Goddammit! Gabe wanged my website!” Webcartoonist- Someone who works or has worked on a webcomic. Webcomic- A comic on the web. Usage Example: “WEBCOMICS?!!” Webcomics Nation- See Keenspace. World Wide Web- Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. 9_9;; You did NOT just look up this phrase. Yiff- furry slang for sex. “Yiff” is supposed to be the barking sound foxes make when they have sex. Usage Example: “Let’s yiff! Yiffing sure is fun! Yiff yiff yiff!”